Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 3)

 

              Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 3)

preg.jpg

My unplanned pregnancy at the tender age of nineteen was thirty years ago, but the blessings I noticed back then I still hold tight to my heart today. These last few writings I’ve shared older posts to show how God was right there with me. (1* 2*) But this week I’m using a piece from my book titled God and Your Pillow, showing another obvious sign of His Fatherly love through that intense trial.


                                                     God and Your Pillow

 

cropped-cropped-writing1.jpg

Willma was the next one I had to tell.

“Sure you can come over,” Willma said after I called to see if we could get together. “It’s pretty much lunchtime, so I’ll start throwing a few sandwiches together.”

I pondered how to tell her as I walked down to her house, that last house on our dead-end street. I knew it was just her there, so when I came up to the door, I took a deep breath.

Okay, here I go. While knocking lightly, I slowly opened the front door.

“Hi, Willma. I’m here. Where are — ”

“Come on in. I’m back in the kitchen, right in the middle of making our lunch,” she said as I walked in. Willma was her normal, cheery self. I could tell she was ready to talk away. Out of all the things in the world to talk about, she started talking about, gulp, the future. Half joking but half serious, she said, “Hey Marianne, it’s time we think more about when you and I move out. Let’s figure out what college you or I’ll be going to. What if you go to the same one I already go to?” 

Breathe.

“We can try to get the same dormitory. Heck, the same room! Or maybe I’ll work while you go there and we’ll split the rent. I know, how about —.”

As she was talking, so full of energy, my mind began filling to the brim with thoughts. You know how you can think of twenty different things in three seconds? Well, that’s what I was doing. Sad to think how she and I wouldn’t really be able to make many spur-of-the-moment plans, as we had been doing for years. I was angry at myself for letting this happen, and a bit scared as to what this could do to our friendship. So much was being tossed around in my mind.

“Willma.” It was obvious this was the time to tell her. “I have something I need to tell you. We can’t really do that stuff you’re talking about because . . . I’m . . . I’m pregnant.”

There, I did it. Now what? What will she say? What will she do?

She stopped what she was doing, frozen for two seconds, realizing I wasn’t kidding.

“Oh. Uh, I guess we’ll, um, have to alter our plans just a bit,” she said calmly, a numb look on her face as she walked by with sandwich makings in her hands. Her look, however, instantly started changing, showing her mind forming different thoughts. I knew she would be shocked, and sure, I figured her emotions would be zig-zagging in all different directions. Thankfully, though, as I shared the entire story with her, I could tell her thoughts were getting straight once again.

While eating that lunch, I heard my best friend tell me she’d be there and how God would not let go of me. Not really hearing those types of words from my family, hearing it from her was priceless.

one teenage girl comforting another after break up

 

The more we discussed the pros and cons of keeping or adoption, we both leaned toward me keeping the baby. No decisions whatsoever on what to do regarding money, the baby’s father, work, and other matters. Just on whether I should be the mother of this baby.

 

As I was walking out that same door I came in, I felt God had used my friend as a means for guidance and a means to give me strength. My name was changed once again on my walk home. Marianne A-Bit-More-Peace-To-Keep-Baby Houstoun


 

I am one who strongly believes God has given us the Bible as our supreme guide in matters theological and practical. However, I did realize back then He will use a certain person to guide us while at the same time showing us He cares.

I’d sure love to read your testimony of how God showed He was there for you, right by your side, during a trial in your life.

1* – click here to read part 1

2* – click here to read part 2.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 2)

          – Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 2) –

 

fotolia_184353629.jpg

My soon-to-be published memoir shares my before, during and after unplanned pregnancy experience. Having already shared bit’s and pieces of that life changing soap opera, I now want to continue explaining how God knew I needed to sense He was there with me as time went on. 

My last writing (1*) shows God’s guidance through an unanswered phone call. It was sort of that first little tap on my shoulder from God saying, “Don’t worry Marianne. I got ya covered.” Okay, maybe not in those exact words, but looking at it now, that’s how I see it.

Here’s another one of my past writings to show God’s second way He showed me He was there. It occurred right after taking that pregnancy test. (2*)  I know some have not read it yet so it’s now a must, or if you have, then read it again to know what story I’m talking about. Go ahead. I’ll wait.

(I’ll just go grab some hot cocoa while I wait till you’re done)

c34115e215454d06594dc1af83409c85

 

Now that you’re back, I think you will agree why, after all these years, I’ll never forget those few minutes. God made sure I, in a way, felt His own hug, showing me He too was there.

Let me encourage all who now or have gone through any trial. You may not really have noticed right then and there His presence. However,  if your heart, soul and mind seek after Him, there’s a good chance you’ll be realizing He is or had been holding you all along. And if you’re at all like me, you’ll never forget it. 

1Peter 5:6-7  Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.

Deuteronomy 31:8  And the Lord, He is the One with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.

To be continued –

(1*) – Last shared posting

(2*) Click here to read the second way God showed He was there. 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped (Part 1)

     – Blessings of My Unplanned Pregnancy Unwrapped –

fotolia_184353629.jpg

I can’t help but share how it was obvious God, my Heavenly Father, proved He was holding me, a nineteen year old, after admitting I had totally messed up. In the midst of my unplanned pregnancy, I felt more of a need to cling to God. It was a must. My heart, soul, and mind would have overflowed with guilt if I did not feel His forgiveness.

As month after month being pregnant went by, He made sure I could tell that, as long as I included Him in this tough time, He was there – noticeably there – making it imposable for me not to thank Him many times. Peace began to form inside me as I soaked up the fact that God isn’t just my Lord and King, but my Father. It was impossible not to have ‘Thank you, God’ thoughts as I saw His hand here and there while my tummy grew.

As I showed recently, He showed me one obvious sign He was there. (1*) I’ve decided to share a few other things that were showing up that I was, slowly but surely, beginning to give God credit for. I’ll show a different one on each post for a while, being that they’re worth more than a few sentences to describe.

 

Of course I must start with the very first happening that I realized later on God planned. At the time it happened it was far from being listed in any ‘Thank you, God’ category. The following excerpt is from my book God and My Pillow – a memoir – (available, Lord willing, by mid-March)

See if you can guess why I’m thankful to God for what took place.


During all the page flipping, it felt like I was a spy who was taking forever to find an important number. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I guess I’ll look under ‘Pregnancy Test.’ Okay, let’s see. Planned Parenthood. This sure wasn’t ‘planned,’ but I guess I have to ‘plan’ something if I am.

That was the first one I noticed. After all, that’s what the bold wording is supposed to do, right? Make you notice. Well, it worked. I was so nervous pressing those numbers.

phone

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
Hmmm. No answer. Darn it. I’ll try another one. I’ll flip back a bit and do more alphabetical order. Let’s see, Crisis Pregnancy Center. This sure is a crisis for me if I’m pregnant. I have to try this one.
Ring, ring. Ring, ring.
Oh, please. Oh, please be open! PLEASE be op…
“Hello. Crisis Pregnancy Center. How can I help you?”
Please tell me I’m not pregnant. “Just seeing if you are open today. Really? Right now? Thank you.” Click.


 

I still thank God, thirty-one years later, for having that first place I called be closed. By reading this, and my entire book, you will discover why I thank God, to this day, for not allowing anyone to answer that first phone call. If someone did, well…I don’t even want to think about it.

A Mans Heart.jpg

More ‘Thank you God‘s to follow.

1* – Click here to read what that first thank-filled story I shared.

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

The Hardest Phone Call to Make (Part 2)

     – The Hardest Phone Call to Make (Part 2) –

 

bad news

 

As I continue my story, it’s time to share a piece directly from my book about my unplanned pregnancy which I dealt with when I was nineteen years old. The title is God and Your Pillow because those are the only two who really knew all of my heart, soul, and mind during this difficult time. My last post shared what got me to finally make the hardest thing I’ve ever had to make: a phone call.   Click here  to read my last post

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ri…

“Hello.”

It was him. It hit me hard. It’s him.

“Hello.”  Does he recognize my voice?  “Is this Greg?”

“Yes, it is. Is this Marianne?” I could tell from his tone of voice that he was surprised.

“Yes, it is.”

“Oh. Well, hello.”

Should I talk about the weather for a spell? No.

“If you’re wondering why I’m calling, I’m, I’m calling to let you know I’m pregnant and that the the baby is yours.”

Silence.

“You’re . . . pregnant?” A little space between those words.

“Yes.”

Silence. I knew I needed to allow him a little time to breathe and come out of shock, but finally I had to say something. I said, a bit slower than normal, “So, what are you thinking?”

His answer showed that he didn’t know what in the world to think. I was rather bold, and told him right up front that an abortion was not an option. I could tell he was disappointed, but thankfully he didn’t make a big deal about that decision. A sudden trap, I’m sure he felt.

We ended the talk by agreeing to go through this together, but that he would wait to hear from me on what I decided to do. I was a bit sad that there was no bold, mature, adult response like, “No matter what, I’m right by your side and will aim at making this the best thing for us both. I love you and will do anything that’s best for our baby. I’m eager to meet your parents, to show them I will take care of us all.” Instead, he had a more of a “oh, we’ll just do whatever” attitude. All I could really do was just tell myself that it was better he be that way than have some selfish, mean, I don’t care attitude. He agreed it was his responsibility to do something, even if it meant we would get married and keep the baby.

Me? Getting married? Now? I knew I didn’t want to decide right then over the phone, so I told him I’d get back with him in a few days. I hung up, telling myself the talk went pretty well. But I also found myself needing to find something good out of everything lately.

After hanging up the phone, I felt like hiding from the world for a while. My thoughts of deciding what to do had begun, but they were too hard to share with anyone.hommes-naiment-chez-femmes-fuir.jpg

I could give the baby up for adoption and have no connection with Greg; have the baby and not get married; or have the baby and get married. I didn’t want to hear from anyone right then and I didn’t feel like deciding. I just wanted God to tell me.

————————————————

Why am I sharing this particular part from God and My Pillow? To make up for not including more in my blog of what followed with Greg. It’s better to wait to read what I like to call the soap-opera part of my book. I feel it’s best for my book to show how God carried me through this entire ordeal, from beginning to end, with this young man.

My story is written to help readers understand how God may decide to put you through your own soap opera, one you’re not sure you can survive. I want to show you He can, and will, get you through it, holding you tightly and never letting go.

 

(1) Click here  to read my last post.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

The Hardest Phone Call to Make (Part 1)

            – The Hardest Phone Call to Make (Part 1) –

 

bad news

So one day there I was, Marianne, nineteen years old,  recently had begun my new walk as a Christian with Christ right by my side as I was full of energy to face the world. The next day, however, I was that same nineteen-year-old who was now faced with an unplanned pregnancy, wanting to hide from the world.

I was relieved after telling my parents the day I found out, with an abundant amount of love from both of them softening my guilt. They showed no signs that they wanted to scratch me with any shame. They knew I was already holding enough shame inside. (1*)

Telling them I was pregnant still gets the title as the toughest thing I have ever had to tell anyone. Now sure, a few years earlier I had to finally tell the boss where I had been working for about four months that I was six months younger than the legal age to work there, with the result of instantly being fired from my job. That, however, was nothing compared to telling my parents I was pregnant.

Thankfully, the love expressed from my parents—along with my six older siblings—was the start of feeling that God was helping me at the beginning of this tough road I was now on.  I wasn’t encouraged enough to feel total peace in telling the entire world, however. Just my family knowing—along with my pillow, after it had soaked up my many thoughts by this point—was all I could bear for a few days. And then I told my best friend. That talk proved to me even more why she was my best friend.

I knew it best I talk to the pastor at my church, but being a Monday I found out I was pregnant, I decided to wait unit Sunday to talk to him face to face. Wondering how to tell my pastor filled much of my thoughts. But telling someone else filled up even more: the father. I became almost impossible not to think of how and when to tell my ex-boyfriend. Most of me didn’t want to tell him but I knew the smaller part of me was going to win. I had to tell him. Even though our relationship ended a few weeks before the thought of taking a pregnancy test even existed, a phone call was a must.

“Marianne,” my mother mentioned a time or twenty, “just call him and get it over with.”

imagesI couldn’t use ‘I’m too busy’ being as I had no job or any time-consuming hobby to use as an excuse. And no way was I in the mood to just hang out with friends to fill up time. I tried my darndest to delay calling him as long as possible. Thomas Jefferson’s saying ‘Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today’  got pushed under my rug. Finally, towards the end of that week, I gave in and (gulp) called.

Ring, ring. Ring, ring. Ring, ri…

“Hello.”

To be continued.

1* – Click HERE to read how I told my parents.

2* – Click  HERE to see how my story began. Continue reading

That 13th Hour – Five Minute Friday

   – That 13th Hour – Five Minute Friday

thinking

Time to think.

Everyone has two 12 hour batches every single day. But what if everyone, for some crazy reason, for one day, could turn that 12 o’clock in the afternoon into a 13 o’clock? How would you spend one extra hour? But let’s say there was a rule that you could not use it on your normal stuff such as work, study, mommy-hood, Daddy-hood, chores, school, ‘laundry’. 

How would you use it? Ask yourself what might God want you to do?

Make that phone call to brighten up someones day?

Take that walk with your dog you know he or she would cherish having?

8717953d7e678a4d3d5c845ac3db3cc0--woman-reading-life-book

 

 

Vegging outside and just soak up some sun? Heck, grab that book you never have time to read. (or write)

 

 

 

 

Play with your child that kid game your child always asks “Do you have time now to play that game?”

I bet your list could get long just thinking about it.

Woman Reading Long List

How about you look at your clock now, making your own 13th hour fit it where you think it could go. How about the middle of the day, late afternoon, after all the kids are down or before they wake up the next morning.

Take a time to say ‘Thank you God. Thanks for all the time you give and guide me in with so much that I do. Thanks now for encouraging me to take that little ‘blink of an eye’ hour to escape my normal routine and enjoy a bit more sweet and simple 13th hour this day.

 

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.

Staring At My Shoes

                  – Staring At My Shoes –

shoe-carnival-5“Okay, the doors now shut. I’m home. I’m pregnant. Now what,” I, the most nervous nineteen year old in the world, asked myself. I walked into my home, having found out a few hours before that I was pregnant. There I was, facing the fact I had to tell  my parents.

What made it the hardest reason to tell them, or really anyone, was because the year before I shared with them how God had graciously called me one of His chosen; a Christian. But it’s one of those situations where I was then the only one in that home who even understood what that was all about. Don’t get me wrong. My family didn’t shrug me away when I told them I was a newly saved follower of Christ. Far from it. I just felt I had to be a bit on guard in what ever I said or did in that home that year. Needing to tell them I messed up and was pregnant was obviously something I didn’t look forward doing.

Now standing inside, having just prayed outside that door before coming in, I continued wondering what to do as I started hearing my parents talking in the kitchen down the hall.

Should I tell them now or wait? I should just get it over with. Okay. I can do this. I hear them in the kitchen. I guess I’ll just walk down the hall and tell them.

A few steps I went, but the stairs up to my room right there were sure tempting.

wooden-exterior-stairs

Stay to the right, go to the kitchen, and tell Mom and Dad. But no, my nervousness won and I went to the left and started walking up.

Half way up I stopped. NO! Just tell them. TELL them. I then turned around and went back down. Slowly I took a sharp left, went a few more steps and there I was.  The shoes I had on I can picture because, as I walked in I was looking down, staring at those shoes. If I didn’t have that comfort inside of knowing God’s Fatherly arm was over my shoulder as I walked in, I don’t know how I could have survived the shame I felt.

 

Now sure, I’d love to get into detail about what happened in that kitchen, but that is all shared in my book. I will say, however, that I began loving my parents and siblings even more after they learned what I was now facing. Being as I was not the only one of my siblings this had happened to, mind you, explains why my parents weren’t ignorant to this type ordeal. However, my family responded as if I was the only one on earth they cared for and loved. And on that day, I sure needed that.

To be continued.

Click HERE  to read how this entire story began.

Marianne Petersen’s book God and Your Pillow is now available. (Amazon) – You can follow Marianne on Twitter at @marimemoirs and read more on her blog, marimemoirs.com.